December 31, 2004
You've probably heard of the Darwin Awards, the Academy Awards, the Oscars, the Emmy Awards and so forth. Well, now there's something better than all of those combined. Now pay attention because this may be the last best new thing of 2004! These awards are called the "Daniel Awards" and they are awarded by me to the best, worst and in-between of 2004. Read below.
| Category | Winner | Qualifying Attributes | Runners-Up |
| Worst Service of the Year | Primus Canada | Upon moving to Victoria and changing my number, my long distance with Primus instantly became unusable. Beyond this, in my dialogue with Primus it took them on average THREE DAYS to get back to me with responses. When I gave up on getting my service to work, I cancelled my long distance with Primus -- however, they refused to cancel it on my initial request. It took two more requests to get it cancelled. Total time for Primus to not solve my problem and cancel my service: 39 days. Primus has refused to refund the fees they charged me during the 39 days and I am now lodging official complaints with the Better Business Bureau as well as the CRTC. |
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| Caught Red Handed | Sears Automotive Inc. | In March my car was broken into. The thieves had only stolen a small amount of change -- oh, and they tried to hot-wire the car Upon trying to start it, it would not start. I then got it towed to Sears to have it looked at. They told me it would be around $800 to repair. With that amount being much larger than my insurance deductible, I got it towed by the Insurance Corporation of BC. They looked at it once and the guy said it would only be $20 to repair. I said "no way -- Sears told me this. Send another guy to check." So they sent another person to check the car and he then callled me and told me "Your car is fixed." He had fixed it for free -- the only thing wrong with it was a little bit of damage around the keyhole. I then went to pick up my car. I went to Sears to complain several times, and each time they refused to let me see the manager and they ushered me out of the store as quickly as possible. |
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| Clumsy Mistake of the Year | Insurance Corporation of BC | They forgot to record where they had towed my car to, so for two days they had lost my car. Luckily they did manage to find it again. | |
| Best Sister of the Year | Ingrid | My sister always seems to excel at anything she undertakes -- so it's not a surprise that she is the winner of this award. Then again, she is my only sister, so it is still not a surprise that she is the winner of this award. | |
| Best City of the Year | Victoria | For being awesome. |
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| Worst City of the Year | South Seattle and Downtown Vancouvver | For being crime-ridden and polluted. |
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| Idiot of the Year | George Bush | Could there possibly be a bigger idiot? George
gets this for many reasons including:
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| Woman of the Year | Sheila Copps | Chances are you probably do not agree with this choice, but why not? She deserves credit for standing up to Paul Martin's steam-roller like leadership campaign. She deserves credit for writing a book on how tough it has been for her. She deserves credit for standing up against her own party for her values. |
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| Man of the Year | David Suzuki | Well, I certainly was not going to pick the same person another "timely" magazine picked as their person of the year -- Sponge Bob Square Pants was not among the nominees for this award either. David gets this because he has done so much good for the environment and for spreading environmental awareness. | |
| Her Royal Sexiness (besides my girlfriend) |
Lindsey Lohan | Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -- do I need more explanation? |
Mandy Moore Ashlee Simpson Reese Witherspoon Michelle Branch Willa Ford Avril Lavigne Hillary Duff Anna Kournikova Kristin Davvis Jessica Simpson "Jordan" Jill Hennessy Britney Spears Katie Holmes Alyson Hannigan Alyssa Milano Amanda Bynes Amanda Peet Amy Smart Anna Faris Anna Kournikova Ashanti Ashlee Simpson Avril Lavigne Beyonce Bobbi Billard Britney Spears Brooke Burke Cameron Diaz Caprice Carmen Electra Catherine Zeta Jones Christina Aguilera Charisma Carpenter Christina Ricci Chyler Leigh Cindy Taylor Claire Danes Claire Forlani Courtney Cox Denise Richards Denise Van Outen Dita von Teese Dominique Swain Drew Barrymore Elisha Cuthbert Ryan Clint Tara Heather Maida Heikal Kylie Bax Kylie Minogue Lacey Chabert Laetitia Casta Laura Prepon Leah Remini Leann Rimes Leslie Bibb Lil Kim Lisa Boyle Liv Tyler Madonna Mandy Moore Mariah Carey Marisa Coughlan Marla Sokoloff Melissa Joan Hart Mena Suvari Mia Kershner Michelle Branch Mila Kunis Milla Jovovich Minnie Driver Mira Sorvino Mischa Barton Molly Sims Myleen Klaas Naomi Campbell Natasha Henstridge Nicole Eggert Nicole Hiltz Nicole Kidman Niki Taylor Nikki Cox Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Paulina Rubio Penelope Cruz Pink Piper Perabo Rachel Bilson Rachel Hunter Rachel Leigh Cook Rachel Nichols Rachel Stevens Rachel Weisz Rebecca Gayheart Rebecca Romijn Rose McGowan Salma Hayek Samaire Armstrong Sandra Bullock Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Silverman Scarlett Johannson Shakira Shania Twain Shannen Doherty Shannon Elizabeth Shannyn Sossamon Sharon Stone Sheryl Crow Shiri Appleby Sofia Vergara Soleil Moonfrye Stacy Kiebler Tara Reid Taryn Manning T.A.T.U Tiffany Theissen Tyra Banks Vanessa Marcil Vanessa Martinelli Victoria Beckham Victoria Silvstedt Winona Ryder Yamila Diaz Yasmine Bleeth Zhang Ziyi
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| Best Action of the Year | Losing Weight | In the last year I have lost 50 lbs! |
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| Pet peeve of the year | Stains | I hate stains with a vengeance! This year I probably spilled 2.5 stains on myself per week. That's almost enough to drive me nuts. Even worse, now certain people have discovered my long-time secret detestation for sparkling glitter that smears off. Now friends are constantly tarnishing my clothes and skin with flashing glitziness that twinkles! |
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| Best Memory | Bus ride from Seattle to Los Angeles | My best memories of 2005 were the bus rides to and from Los Angeles. These 26 hour bus rides seemed a bit like torture at the time, but now that I look back at them, they were fun and I really enjoyed the people I met on the ride. I would actually be willing to do it again. |
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| Worst Memory | Knocking on doors with mean people in Seattle. | The winner explains itself. |
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| Best Cat | Princess Petuna Pandora Pussycat Sorensen | She is sooooooooooo cute. All other cats came in a very close second. |
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| Best Stir-Fry | Mongolian Grill in Whistler | Expensive, but good. | |
| Best Dessert | Ris-a-la-mande | It continues to be ris-a-la-mande. This is a Danish dish only eaten on Christmas eve which is a rice pudding and within the pudding there is inserted one whole almond. As the pudding is eaten, who ever finds the one whole almond wins a prize. It is a lot of fun. | Too many to mention. |
| Best Hike/Camping | Stikine | Stikine is on the Northern end of Lake Chelan in Washington State. To get there you must take a three hour ferry trip. The area is full of wonderful trails, wonderful cabins, beautiful landscapes, pristine waterfalls, and a very delicious bakery! | |
| Best Technology | Cell Phones. | I can now not live without it. | |
| Best Future Carcinogen | Cell Phones. | Radiation and convenience -- ahhhhhhhhh, why do I have to have both? | Low carb flour |
| Best Baked Good | Swirly Coloured Burger Buns in Seattle | These buns are served at a restaurant on Alki Beach in Seattle. They feature swirls of colour on the buns and taste excellent. |
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| Biggest Issue of the year | Climate Change | With changing climates, sea levels and agricultural patterns will change. We must be prepared -- it would be suicidal not to be prepared. |
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| Biggest Non-Issue of the Year | Self-Beauty | From Aktins to Plastic to Botox and beyond, we have become obsessed with our own looks. We now spend more on finding a cure for baldness than we do on finding a cure for AIDS -- which is really more important? |
Think more awards should've been awarded? I do, but don't know what other awards to give away. Let me know about other potential categories.